The Pie Who Loved Me
by Diaphanous
Summary: Good until the last delicious, golden bite...   A series of complete short stories starring Dean and his beloved baked good, the pie.
1. Pies and Bites

**The Pie Who Loved Me**

Disclaimer: I'm on a Supernatural kick, can't you tell? Anyway, I don't own them. Too bad…

_000_

The crust was golden, steaming fresh. Sugar crystals made that beautiful pie just sparkle. The tin it had been baked in was deep and the crisp, cinnamon-y apple smell wafted in the air. Dean Winchester, lover of delicious pastries (especially pie), was practically drooling at the sight. "Oh baby, oh baby, please," he muttered.

His brother Sam threw him a weird look and then eyed the pie. He sighed and turned back to the cashier of the diner. "Could you add that pie to our to-go order?" he asked. He ignored Dean's rapturous moan of wanton delight.

"The whole thing?" the cashier replied incredulously. She gulped when Sam went puppy-eyed on her. "Oh…" she sighed. "You got it." She was nearly blinded by his smile, giddy as a school-girl from its beauty.

"Come on, Dean," Sam said, holding their dinner bags in one hand while in the other was a white box that held the pie. And using the pie like the piped-piper with his flute, the younger Hunter led his brother out the door.

_000_

It was three o'clock in the morning and Dean woke up with a craving. He wanted that last piece of pie. He rolled out of bed and to his feet and as he turned he froze in horror. Horror because sitting at the tiny table in the motel room was Castiel.

What was Castiel doing? Eating Dean's pie.

Dean saw red as the angel ate that last bite. He roared in rage.

"NOOO!!! NOT THE PIE!!! SON-OF-A-BITCH!"

_000_

END

Poor Dean… he's my newest favorite character. Thus my need to torture him in good fun.

-cackles-


	2. Apple vs Cherry

**Apple Versus Cherry**

Disclaimer: I don't own SPN but I wish I could own me some Jensen Ackles, Jared Padalecki, and the ever delicious Misha Collins. Yes, please…

000

Dean Winchester was faced with a dilemma.

Sweat beaded across his forehead and his upper lip. One sweat drop rolled slowly down the side of his face. He swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing with the action. His hazel green eyes darted between his choices. Oh, which one, which one?

"Dean, dude, seriously! Just pick one!" his younger brother Sam said peevishly. "God… Pie is pie, man."

Dean swung his gaze up to glare at the younger Winchester. "Bitch, take that back!" he hissed. A light flush stained his sharp cheekbones. "It's not just pie, okay! It's PIES."

"It ain't hard, jerk. Pick one already; apple or cherry," Sam muttered, backing down from the challenge in his brother's eyes.

"And don't forget the blueberry, dear!" their waitress chirped as she popped by their table. "Y'all ready to order a slice of dessert now?"

Sam resisted the urge to twitch and gave the woman a strained smile. "Just the chocolate cake, thanks," he answered. The tall man glared heatedly at Dean. "Dean, order a slice."

"But they're both my favorite," the older Hunter murmured. He heaved a big sigh. "Fine, Sammy. I'll pick one."

"Finally…" On second thought, Sam didn't like the smirk on Dean's face.

"So, what'll it be, sweetie?"

"Get me a slice of that peach pie, a la mode, Miss Sherry," Dean ordered with glee. The waitress giggled and skipped off with their orders.

"Jerk!" Sam exclaimed in disbelief. He growled when that insufferable smirk widened.

"Bitch."

000

END

Huh, I've been on a pie kick with my favorite characters. Weird since I don't even like pie. But I will eat pie crust… Lol.

Sooo... this will be a series of pie-related one-shots now. Enjoy the golden, crusty goodness. XD


	3. The Moment of Pie

**The Moment of Pie**

Disclaimer: Don't own, no I don't. :iz sad:

000

Do you know those cliché moments in the movies? You know? The one where the main character has an epiphany or they see something that was the answer to all of their prayers?

The wide-eyed look of amazement. Of rapture. Of Holy-Shit-OMG-No-Way!

The moment when you can hear that choir of angels singing as a holy light shone down from the heavens.

Yeah, Dean Winchester was having one of those moments.

Not that he wanted to hear those feathered bastards singing or anything.

It all started with a hunt, as was usual for the brothers Winchester. It had been a bitch but their inherent awesome-ness and epic win totally saved their asses. And, lo and behold, they were about the leave the small town that they actually hadn't been run out of but a local woman told them to at least stay for the town's Blueberry Fair.

They even had a Miss Blueberry contest and everything. How could Dean say 'no' to that? And the best part, for Sammy and his bitch face, was that there were no clowns in this fair.

So there they were, munching on fresh blueberry pastries when Dean stopped abruptly, his Sasquatch of a brother plowing right into him. It was a good thing the older Hunter had such good balance because he didn't even move.

No, he was too busy having that moment, choir of bastard angels and all.

"Oh no," Sam moaned once he realized just what his brother was staring at in a stupor. "Oh no, no, no!"

"Oh yes!" Dean crowed, hurrying off; the taller man was dragging his feet as he followed.

It wouldn't be a Blueberry Fair if there wasn't blueberry pie.

And if there was pie at a town fair, there was a pie eating contest to be had.

Dean was _so_ going to win.

000

END

So yeah, I'm back! XD

Anyway, funny and ironic thing, okay? I play an online RPG called MapleStory and it's their 5th anniversary celebration and contest. The theme?

**Cake vs. Pie.**

Guess who's on the pie team?

Lol, me.

Pie's gonna win, bitches! In the name of Dean Winchester, I swear it! XD


	4. Wasted Pie

**Wasted Pie**

Disclaimer: No own, damnation…

000

Samuel Winchester was a dead man and he knew it.

As soon as Dean got over his shock.

Wide green eyes filled with girlish tears and full lips trembled. Fruit and filling dribbled down masculine features, golden crust decorating hair and face. The scent of apple and sugar filled the tense air. The tin spun around lazily as it finally settled from falling.

Bobby Singer quietly wheeled himself out of his own living room. He wasn't going to stay for the brawl that was sure to happen. Damn those idjits for arguing and for Sam losing his temper so bad to do something so terrible.

"Oh God, Dean! I am so sorry! I didn't mean to throw your pie at your face."

"Bitch…" Dean hissed, finally shaking himself out of his stupor. "You. Wasted. My. Pie!" He let out a wordless roar and tackled his brother down to the floor.

Bobby sat in his kitchen, sipping his coffee and listening to the scuffle between the brothers.

"WAAH! OW! SHIT!"

"MY PIE! YOU BITCH-FACED BASTARD!"

000

END

Now excuse me whilst I go and play some MapleStory...


End file.
